


make me feel alive

by stormss



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Crushes, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e08 Bad Call, F/F, Minor Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 05:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30050808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormss/pseuds/stormss
Summary: A chill runs down her spine when the camera pans over to the ambulance belonging to the abducted team, flashes of red and blue glinting against its panelling. But it's undeniable, the words they'd painted just a couple of weeks ago—dedicated in memory of Timothy Rosewater—like some sort of taunting beacon.*Or, Marjan can't explain the fear she feels over the thought of losing Nancy.
Relationships: Nancy Gillian/Marjan Marwani
Comments: 33
Kudos: 77





	make me feel alive

**Author's Note:**

> hello! so i've been working on this since the episode aired and i'm kinda nervous bc it's my first time venturing into writing for nancy/marjan but i love them so!!! i thought i'd give it a try!!!
> 
> the title comes from _cherry_ by rina sawayama. come say hi on [tumblr!](https://reyesstrand.tumblr.com/)

She showers three times when she gets home from her shift. 

It's become a sort of ritual after these hard days, where close-calls even manage to shake her up a bit. Marjan basks in the heat of the water and the way she's able to scrub away any remaining hints of thick smoke and sweat and memories of the little girl clutching to her arms. It'd been too close for her liking, if she's being honest, and for once she's happy to be spending the night in by herself—resting her muscles and losing herself to mindless TV until she crashes. 

Paul's off on a date tonight with picnic girl, and she smirks down at the photos he's sent their groupchat, looking for approval for his outfit of choice. She's surprised TK hasn't sent his usual hype-man reply yet, so she does instead, figuring medical must still be out on a call, before flopping down onto the couch. 

The local news plays in the background while she mostly scrolls through her Instagram feed, an ad for a new vegan bakery opening up reminding her of her plan to ask Nancy to get coffee over the weekend. Shaking her head at herself, Marjan sends the post to Nancy, before switching over to their text thread. Her own message stares back at her— _do you have any plans for your day off?_ —that she'd sent almost three hours ago. She tries to ignore the way her stomach falls at the lack of a reply, and scrubs a hand down her face in frustration. 

TK had told her over lunch today to just go for it. He'd been filching baby carrots from her plate, acting like he knew what he was talking about when trying to assure Marjan it'd go over well if she just asked Nancy out, like she so clearly wanted to for a while now. And so she listened to him, and it's clearly backfired, and it's all his fault.

Sure, she loves him, but still. All his fault. 

She texts him that thought exactly, before groaning and putting her phone face-down on the coffee table. Marjan grabs the remote and turns up the volume, moving then into the kitchen to rifle through her fridge for something easy to heat up for a late dinner. Like always, she smiles at the photo of herself and her parents stuck under the magnet in the shape of Florida, a wave of homesickness washing over her all at once. 

The breaking news announcement from the TV startles her out of her memories of home, and she turns her gaze to the screen once more. She isn't expecting to hear about a paramedic team being taken hostage. It seems like something out of a movie, her hand shaking as she turns up the volume a few more notches, watching as the field reporter talks at the camera with chaos happening all around her. 

A chill runs down her spine when the camera pans over to the ambulance belonging to the abducted team, flashes of red and blue glinting against its panelling. But it's undeniable, the words they'd painted just a couple of weeks ago— _dedicated in memory of Timothy Rosewater_ —like some sort of taunting beacon. Immediately, she grabs her phone and opens up her text thread with Carlos. 

> _what the hell is going on?_

She waits with bated breath, tapping her phone against the heel of her hand as she waits for the response. Thankfully, because it's Carlos, it comes quickly. 

> **_it's a long story, but they're all okay. tk got pretty banged up._ **

Marjan winces, and her thumbs hover over her screen, when another round of messages come through. 

> **_captain strand and i are at mercy now. tk just got out of a ct scan._ **
> 
> **_tommy and nancy are okay, just shaken up._ **
> 
> **_text me when you get here, i'll come get you._ **

It's telling that he knows her thought-process, she thinks, as she's already turned the TV off and has blown out a few of the candles she lit up when she got home, grabbing her keys and bag.

Her knuckles go white from how hard she grips the steering wheel, her heart pounding. Her mind is full of _what ifs—_ it's bad enough that TK's apparently hurt enough to warrant something like a CT scan, and that has her nervous, but—but she can't stop thinking about Nancy. She can't dwell on it, though, because already her heartbeat is skyrocketing and her stomach is turning, the thought of Nancy being hurt—of _losing_ her—forming a pit of emotions she can't quite place in the centre of her chest. 

She pushes all negative thoughts down, even though it's a nearly impossible feat. With a shaky exhale, Marjan focuses all her attention on the road, trying with all her might to will away the burning behind her eyes. 

* * *

Like he promised, Carlos is waiting for her near the front doors of the hospital. 

She's still securing her mask when she approaches him, and though he's sporting one of his own, his eyes give him away instantly. Marjan frowns and squeezes his shoulder, and takes a deep breath before asking: "How is everyone?" 

Carlos rubs at the back of his neck, the two of them falling in step with each other. "Could be worse. TK's awake and talking. Charles picked up Tommy twenty minutes ago." 

"What even happened?" Marjan asks, as they step onto the elevator. She drops her gaze down to Carlos' hand, where he's been fidgeting with something since they met up; she spots him thumbing at the ridges of TK's sobriety chip, and her heart aches, just a little bit. 

"That apartment fire you guys responded to today?" Carlos cocks a brow at her, and when she nods, he sighs. "The guys who started it also robbed a bank today. They needed medical attention, faked a pregnancy call, and Captain Vega's team was taken when they were called to the scene." 

Marjan shakes her head, and he sighs in agreement. 

The elevator dings and they step out, and he nudges her shoulder with his own. "Nancy's waiting for you, by the way." 

A flush instantly starts creeping up Marjan's throat, and she can tell he's grinning at her. She rolls her eyes at him and nudges him with her shoulder, which makes his eyes crinkle more as his smile deepens. 

"Where is she?" Marjan asks, and he gestures to the little waiting room at the other end of the hall. 

"We're in here," Carlos says, stopping in front of one of the rooms with a half-closed door. She can faintly hear TK's voice, and it's a calming sound, knowing he's at least not too badly injured. "Stop by when you're done." 

"We will," she says, and Carlos smiles and squeezes her shoulder for good luck. She takes a deep breath, and heads for the waiting room. 

Nancy is sitting near one of the big windows, raindrops splotching against the glass. Her foot is tapping restlessly against the ground and her hands are clasped in front of her, squeezing hard enough that her muscles strain in her arms. Marjan swallows and steps closer, her shoes squeaking against the tiled floor. Nancy's head shoots up and she meets Marjan's eyes, and she's overwhelmed at the sudden calmness that the simple action brings. 

"Marjan, hey," Nancy says, and Marjan's across the room in seconds, sitting in the chair next to her and removing her mask. 

"How are you?" Marjan asks, barely holding back from touching her to check her; to make sure she's really here, and okay.

Nancy grabs her hand, bridging the distance between them, and her thumb rubs across the back of Marjan's hand, instantly offering a soothing touch.

"I'm okay," Nancy whispers, though her eyes are focused on their clasped hands. 

Marjan makes a small noise in the back of her throat. "Nancy—" 

"I mean, it was terrible," Nancy says, slowly bringing her gaze up to meet Marjan's. "But I'm—I'm okay." 

"You know you can talk to me," Marjan insists, her voice dropped down low. She catches the moment that Nancy's reservation crumbles; her eyes start shining and the corner of her mouth turns downward, and Marjan already has her arms around her by the time the tears come. 

"I thought I was going to have to watch—" Nancy stops, her voice cracking as she buries her face in Marjan's neck. Marjan tightens her hold on her, rubbing gentle circles between her shoulder blades. "I thought I was going to lose a partner again." 

Marjan closes her eyes and frowns, deepening the hug. "I'm so sorry, Nance."

They're quiet for a moment, just holding onto each other. 

"I was so scared," Marjan whispers, vulnerable and yet completely safe in the other woman's grasp. "For a second there I didn't know what to expect. I'm just—"

"Marj," Nancy mutters, pulling away enough to look her in the eye. 

"I'm so glad you're okay," Marjan finishes. She sets her shoulders as she says it, confident in her words because they have to come out. She can't keep holding it back. Nancy's eyes are still shiny as Marjan speaks, but her gaze isn't tainted with fear or hesitation or anger. "Because I—Nancy, I've never felt this before, for anyone." 

Something's been brewing between them for months, now, and it's like—like the ultimate adrenaline high. It feels like her axis has shifted but also that she's more stable than she's ever been. It's like a fire has erupted under her skin and it's constantly setting her alight. And then Nancy smiles at her, unabashed and beautiful and all-consuming, and Marjan feels like she could just float away. 

"Me too. I don't even have the words for it, sometimes," Nancy says, the corner of her mouth turning up in a smile. "You know, I never got to tell you that I'm not doing anything on my day off." 

She says it with a knowing look in her eye, and Marjan grins, ducking her head. "Well, I'd like to take you for a coffee. If you want to." 

"I'd like that," Nancy says, squeezing her hand again. Marjan steals herself and brings Nancy's hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. 

* * *

Later, hand-in-hand, they stroll over to TK's room to check in on him. Carlos is half-asleep on the bed next to him, so they keep mostly quiet as they wave to him. 

TK, despite being concussed, gives them a smug smile. "I told you so. Both of you." 

"You're lucky you're in a hospital bed, Strand," Nancy says, and he grins even wider. 

"'m happy for you," TK replies, and Marjan glances up at Nancy the same moment she looks over to her.

Without hesitation, she thinks, _me too,_ as she leans more into Nancy's side. They smile at the same time, and she knows in this moment that that the future—their future—it's worth fighting for. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! comments/kudos are greatly appreciated!! <3


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